Monday, September 7, 2015

Battle through

Wow, summer is coming to an end already!  What a journey this 2015 has been already. The end of October will mark 2 years of tripping and falling for "no reason".  It's wild to think this would completely change the way I look at life and live life. If asked if I'm the same person that I was before cancer to the person I am now,  the answer is no. I feel like a completely different person.

First off, I feel like I grew up. At 26 and you receive news like I did was something I never would have guessed would have happened to me, let alone my family. I always think, I am glad God picked me to fight this battle for many reasons. I grew up and battled against a monster. I became mentally strong, I told myself every day I was going to get my life back. Thanks to PT I have been more physically fit and thanks to everyone who tells me how much progress I have made. Hearing this just makes me want to keep doing more, keeping pushing and not give up and not give in.
No matter what you are battling, remind yourself how strong you are, how far you have come. Always look forward. When I think about my diagnosis I think wow, a year ago I had no hair,  wasn't able to walk very well. And now I have a headful of hair and am walking with a cane and braces.
I had the script flipped on me this summer. Someone extremely close to me was diagnosed with cancer. At first I couldn't believe it. I was literally emotionless. I've never felt like that before. I thought to myself I am going to be their outlet, I am going to help them get through this because I am getting through this. I didn't really know how I was going to do it because I knew the emotions and questions running through their mind. Weeks before the surgery we stopped to eat and not much was said, but I really felt like we had the best conversation. We just got each other. When the day of surgery came, I didn't know what to expect other than you've been on the other side and I knew how I felt. I will admit it was difficult to see someone I looked to as my hero laying in so much pain and not being able to take it away. I know what it felt like to be laying in pain and no one could take it away. I just kept saying that you have to battle through it and we will get through it. We are still battling through it, but we share a connection with each other and can help each other. I want to inspire them from my experience. I want them to have a positive outlook on the future and recovering. It's a long battle, but I know together we will both come out as survivors. I think of the quote, "I may have had cancer, but cancer never had me."

Thank you for your continued support and prayers. I go for my rescan this month so hopefully all is well.

"Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage mean we face our fears. We are able to say, I have fallen but I will get up again."

No comments:

Post a Comment