Just leap

It has been such a long time since I last updated. Things have been progressing for the positive. My last scans showed no signs of change. I've been working to get off some of my medicines and for the past few weeks I've been working on no brace on my left leg. The biggest change is I decided to take a part time job. It is very taxing and wears me down, but it's a good start to getting back into the swing of things.

So far summer has been going great. Jon and I have been enjoying rides up in the mountain most weekends. It's great to be able to sit back and enjoy the scenery. On one of our trips I decided to take a leap and jump into blue hole. I was sitting watching everyone jump and decided cancer isn't going to defy how I live my life. Life would pass me by so I did it...I jumped. And then I jumped again!

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer and taking leaps of faith.

Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that is going to be the one that will help you grow -Caroline Myss

Tough times don't last. Tough people do.

I know it has been a very long time since my last update.  I have been dealing with some family health issues and to be honest, I just haven't felt very inspired.  Thankfully, things have calmed down.  God works in mysterious ways.

Over the past few days I have been thinking a lot about my past and growing up.  I thought about how hard I thought life was then.  What a good laugh I got.  I can remember stressing about telling my parents about a bad test or a bad grade, report card time, getting suspended over something so stupid I did.  I thought about all the relationships I had, the good and the bad.  I thought about all the times that I would get "yelled" at by my coaches and my back talking.  Everyone in life has relationships with so many different people for so many different reasons.  It was like an epiphany, all those hard times, those stressful times, those bad relationships only toughened me up for my future.  

Getting through the past 2 1/2 years of dealing with everything, I never wanted to imagine being on the other side of the table with someone I love, someone I devoted my life to, someone who was so strong for me when I couldn't be strong for myself.  If I hadn't had those blessons growing up I don't know if I would have been able to handle being the strong one.  Life has a funny way of preparing you for what lies ahead.

I've been striving for a stronger relationship with God, giving all my worries to Him, and I feel like He has been carrying me.  I am so grateful for my unanswered prayers and my answered prayers.  

At my last scan, I showed some signs of improvement.  My spinal cord fluid show some signs of thinning and a few "cysts" in my spinal cord showed signs of shrinkage.  My left foot is still not improving.  I'm coming to terms that I may have drop foot for the rest of my life.  If that is the only thing that the feeling doesn't return, I think I will be okay with that. Just have to keep calm and fight on!

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful to God for life.  Someone, somewhere is fighting to survive.

Some good byes are harder than others...

2 years ago today I said good bye to Mercy hospital and made my way back home. I was so happy to be home after spending a month in the hospital  No more nurses coming in every 4 hours to wake up and give me shots.  No more hospital food.  That good bye was easy.   I knew I was going to have home PT care and would have to get adjusted to a newer life style, but I didn't care...I was home.  After home PT, I was sent on to outpatient PT.  Little did I know that I would make friends that would change my life forever.

Almost 2 years later, I had one of the hardest goodbyes I had to face in a very long time.  I shouldn't say its a goodbye, but a see you later.  When I arrived at PT, I was in my wheelchair with my walker not knowing what to expect.  Who knew I would have met someone who has made such an impact on my life.  Even typing this is hard for me because there is so much emotion.  I made a friend who helped to keep me positive, inspired, support me, a shoulder to lean on when days were tough for me.   They say friendship isn't about who you have known the longest.  It's about who walked into your life and said I am here for you and proved it.  So many fun memories were created on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.  From things to hold on to, to sweet tea sippin', to drunken toddler walks, and dance moves, I will always treasure those in my heart.  I'll be representing BBR. Jon and I can't even begin to say how grateful we are for not giving up on me and pushing me to reach my goals. You will do great things.  I like to think that God sends us special friends to share our lives, very special people we can be ourselves with, talk with, laugh with, hope with, and believe with.  I'm sure He knows just how special you are to me and right now I'm hoping you know too.

Good byes are never easy, no matter what the circumstance.  I like see you agains much better.  Thank you for the great memories at PT and I am looking forward to new memories.