Thursday, December 31, 2015

Goodbye 2015!

   As 2015 comes to a close, I sit here and think about all the good & bad things I have faced and overcame.  Just when I thought my family was close, events drew us closer together.  We were faced with adversity when my father was diagnosed with cancer.  It came as such a shock and reminder of what I went through. I was emotionless.  I didn't know what to think or how to feel.  As much as I wanted to break down and cry, I knew I couldn't.  It wouldn't get me anywhere.  I knew I had to be strong.  I now share a bond with my Dad that no one else has.  We made it through, probably one of the hardest parts of his life, together.  I understood what he was feeling without him having to say it.  We just got each other.  My Dad was able to retire this year and has been fighting his battle...I'm not sure if it is with boredom, golfing, or cutting down trees... I'm so grateful he is here to do those things.
  Earlier in the year we successfully pulled of a 60th surprise birthday for my Mom.  She deserved a day just for her after the crazy past few years.  She deserves more than just a day, she deserves more than I can even imagine.  Growing up, most of us want our mom's out of our business and now being grown up I can say she is my best friend & she is involved in all my business.  She truly has a heart of gold.  The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.
  There are so many things that I look back on and think, wow I am just grateful to be here.  My scans have not shown any signs of major changes, which is a good thing.  I try to fight every day that I am at the gym to make myself stronger.  I know key to getting better  my hands.  I feel I am in better shape now than I have ever been.  I have so many people encouraging me that I am inspired to keep doing more.  Even just looking back on my life, there will always be a before cancer and an after cancer.  As crazy as it sounds, my life with cancer is fuller.  I feel that this experience makes you a more humbling person.  I appreciate life so much more.  I feel I could never go back to the person I was before.  I found a quote that helped put things into perspective: "After a while I looked in the mirror and realized...Wow after all those hurts, scars, and bruises, after all those trials, I really made it through.  I did it.  I survived that which was supposed to kill me.  So I straightened my crown...and walked away like a boss."
   A new year, a new me.  A fresh start.  Is it really?  Tomorrow you will probably wake up and feel the same way you did today, maybe hungover, but you get the point.  The date 2016 will not change you.  YOU will have to change YOU.  I hope you wake up and realize a beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset.  When you wake up, take a second to be thankful for all of your blessings, being alive, being positive.  The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one.

I hope you all have a very blessed, healthy New Year.  I hope you wake up everyday this year and are thankful for your blessings.  

Thank you for your continued love and support.